The taboo trend behind an STD surge among 'respectable' divorced women in their 40s. A doctor's dinner party confession shocked me: JANA HOCKING
I'm in a doctor's office, holding my uni roommate's hand as she bursts into tears - she's just heard the words every sexually active person dreads.
'Your test results are back… and I'm afraid it's bad news.'
Thankfully, it was treatable with antibiotics, but the diagnosis was still a shock: gonorrhoea. The doctor gave us a sobering lecture afterwards about how much worse it could have been. Some STDs, he warned, don't go away. At least this does.
On the drive home, we talked about how recklessly we rolled the dice during our wild university years. Shared mixed dorms, too much vodka, questionable decisions… It's a rite of passage, but condoms weren't always top of mind.
Ever since that day in 2005, I've been a militant condom advocate.
Seriously, I'd arm-wrestle a man into wearing one at this point. No excuses. And gents, nobody is buying the 'I'm allergic to condoms' performance anymore.
So when a private doctor I met at a dinner party casually mentioned there was another surge in gonorrhoea cases at her clinic in Sydney's well-heeled eastern suburbs, I wasn't surprised.
Then she told me that most of the cases were professional women in their 40s.
Daily Mail columnist Jana Hocking (pictured) reveals the taboo sex act behind a recent surge in STI cases among women in their 40s: cocaine-fuelled sex
Sorry… what?
Come on, ladies, I thought we were smarter than that.
But the more I thought about it, the more it actually made perfect sense.
Apparently, there are two major culprits. The first is divorce.
After years in long-term relationships where condoms were no longer part of the equation, many women simply aren't thinking about them anymore once they re-enter the dating scene.
And the second?
Cocaine.
According to my doctor friend, the powdery little party favour tends to make people two things: horny and reckless. It's a dangerous combination.
Jana writes that divorced women are being drawn into the hedonistic lives of younger men, encouraging them to take sexual risks they might otherwise be averse to (stock image)
There's another layer to this that I know many of my divorced girlfriends would be slightly horrified to admit out loud.
These women are suddenly dating younger men and embracing their cougar era, often getting pulled into social scenes they missed the first time around while they were busy raising children and packing lunches.
While everyone else was experimenting in their 20s, they were building families.
Now the kids are at Dad's for the weekend and they're back out in the world with dating apps, disposable income, and newfound freedom.
Oh, and occasionally a 32-year-old boyfriend named Jake introducing them to cocaine in a Bondi bathroom.
For many women, it's their first time trying it.
The downsides are obvious: divorcees are being drawn into the hedonistic lives of younger men, encouraging them to take sexual risks they might otherwise be averse to. The consequences can be awful.
And the problem with cocaine specifically is that it has an annoying habit of convincing people they're invincible. Financially. Socially. Sexually.
Condoms suddenly start feeling very 'optional' when you're a few lines deep and feeling spiritually connected to a man named Darren you met 90 minutes earlier.
The conversation around post-divorce freedom tends to focus on the fun parts - the confidence boost, the sexual awakening. Few talk about the messier side that can come with rushing into a fast, hedonistic dating culture after years away from it.
Perhaps they should.
Think about it: you're a 40-something woman who has just discovered that a man with a jawline and a Labrador can now be at your house within 45 minutes, thanks to dating apps.
Mix in a few margaritas, a hint of post-divorce identity crisis, lines of cocaine and the intoxicating thrill of feeling desired again after years of routine married life, and suddenly no one's pausing to ask, 'Hang on… should we maybe use protection?'
Which is probably why - thanks to Sydney's favourite kink, coke-fuelled sex - doctors are now seeing soaring rates of STDs among women in their 40s.
Or, to be more specific: gonorrhoea.
So ladies, I don't care if your new partner looks like Brad Pitt in his Legends of the Fall days - if your wide-eyed man refuses to wear a condom, the truth is he's not for you.
No one should suffer from an itchy groin, or worse, a lifelong STD just because you got swept away in a lusty moment.
Swipe, swipe, next!
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