I'm having a new kind of sex in my 40s. Only divorced people know what I'm talking about. Time to ditch your 'starter marriage': JANA HOCKING

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Ladies, I have a theory and, the older I get, the more it rings true.

Get your starter marriage out of the way.

This may sound brutal but, statistically speaking, the chances of getting it right the first time aren't exactly great.

In the US, around 40 percent of first marriages eventually end in divorce. The idea that you can magically choose the perfect person the very first time you walk down the aisle is optimistic.

So, marry that buffoon you keep sending heart emojis to, give it a red-hot go and see how it plays out.

Just this week, Josh Duhamel explained why his starter marriage to Fergie ended.

'We're just very different, she and I just have different views of the world, and that's OK,' he said on The Skinny Confidential podcast.

Duhamel was quick to add that he has no regrets about the relationship. After all, they share a 12-year-old son, Axl. And, let's be honest, that feels like a far more realistic love story than the fairy tales we're usually sold.

Marry that buffoon you keep sending heart emojis to, give it a red-hot go and see how it plays out

When I think back to the men I dated in my twenties (and, to be fair, early thirties), there is absolutely no way those relationships would have worked long-term.

I am a completely different person now.

And thank God my taste in men has evolved as well.

Too-ta-loo, bad boys.

Sometimes I wonder if I should have had a little more Elizabeth Taylor in me and just given marriage a whirl back then. Just to see what it was like.

Because who says you have to stay the same your entire life? Or have to love the same one person?

The truth is, the person you choose to marry at 25 is often chosen with hormones, optimism and very questionable taste.

The person you are at 25 is wildly different to the person you are at 40. Your priorities change. Your values sharpen. Your tolerance for nonsense drops dramatically.

Even Duhamel hinted at that evolution when he compared his first wife to his second, Audra Mari, noting that both women are 'very different in a lot of ways but both really, really great women.'

And that's kind of the point.

The person you loved deeply at one stage of your life simply might not align with the person you become later.

So what's wrong with a good plot twist when your life evolves? Shouldn't we be allowed to pivot?

I think we can all agree, despite Duhamel and Fergie eventually growing apart, it's still iconic that he was married to her.

I bet he doesn't regret it for a second.

I also bet he's pretty happy with how the second chapter of his life turned out with Mari, a former beauty queen who is 21 years his junior. The pair began dating seven years ago, have been married for three years and have a two-year-old son, Shepherd.

Despite Duhamel and Fergie eventually growing apart, it's still iconic that he was married to her

Josh Duhamel and Audra Mari began dating seven years ago, have been married for three years and have a two-year-old son, Shepherd, together

And he's not alone.

Studies show more than half of divorced Americans remarry, which tells us something important.

Divorce doesn't mean people give up on marriage. Often, it just means they try again, but this time a little wiser.

I love talking to people who have lived their lives fully. The ones who have had big loves, experienced heartbreak, gone through the mess of divorce and still had the courage to try again.

And while we're at it, can we also ditch the idea that your first partner has to become the villain in your story?

Gwyneth Paltrow has nothing but affection for her former husband Chris Martin, once telling Glamour that he's like her brother.

They're still a family, just not a romantic one.

The same goes for Duhamel, who has said he and Fergie have a great relationship, and that she gets along well with his current wife.

To me, it is the healthiest way to look at it.

Sometimes a relationship isn't a failure, it was simply the first chapter.

So, here's to the starter husband or wife. The one who helped you figure out who you were.

Because the first marriage is just a chapter in the rich, messy, beautiful history of a life fully lived.

So, isn't time we normalized the starter marriage?

Not whisper about it like it's some embarrassing failure but wear it proudly, learn from it and look forward to the next one.

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